151980

Joke of the Day

"So I told my girlfriend that she'd look better with her hair back... Which apparently is a very rude thing to say to a cancer patient."

"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""

"So how do you confuse a blonde Redditor? [Answer](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2pi5rn/so_how_do_you_confuse_a_blonde_redditor/)"

"What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented? There's been a ground breaking discovery..."

"Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know"

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"How much resistance can a Buddhist monk endure? Ohmmmmmm............?"

"Bud light is like having sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't budget."

"Schrodinger: How's my cat, Doc? Vet: I have good news and bad news.."