151945

Joke of the Day

"Why do drug dealers hate prostitutes? Because prostitutes can wash their crack and sell it again."

"Apparently we can't call it crowbars anymore. Its actually jackdawbars"

"Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret."

"The waiter at the Mexican restaurant called me ""Amigo"". Am I in a gang now?"

"What do you call a fake Sony phone? Phony"

"[identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation"

"Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!"

"My dog recently stole my loafers. Now they're his new favorite pair of **chews.**"

"Q: What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? A: Pencil-in."