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Joke of the Day

"A knock-knock joke that will blow your mind! Knock,Knock... Who is there? ... Old Lady Lahey... ... Old Lady Lahey Who? ... Holy shit, I didn't know you could yodel!"

"My grandpa keeps complaining to me that my generation relies too heavily on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support."

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"""

"A 90 year old man used to tell me this same joke every time I saw him. I went to the Dr. today. He said he needed blood, semen, and fecal samples....So I gave him my underwear and walked out."

"What's a tick's favorite food? A tic tac"

"Saw a coworker washing a banana in the sink and wondering what she did with it."

"All the toys in Toy Story are pervs Their whole world and life revolves around being played with by little kids."

"The best revenge is to show them that your life is getting better after they're gone"

"About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering."

"To make my guests comfortable, I always put a sign in the bathroom that says ""Don't worry, I cleaned, those are permanent stains."""