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Joke of the Day

"I have some things I need to get off my chest. I've been letting things pile up on it, and I'm pretty sure I left my checkbook in that chest. Hay-ooooooooooo!!!"

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"How did the Italians lose WWII? They ordered ziti instead of shells."
"what do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaains..."
"The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands."
"Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion? CrossFit"
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Avalanche Barbie ...buried in 16 feet of snow"
"Hey, the 1700's called, they said please invent telephones."
"I like to use the Ouija board to pester my dead husbands."
"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"
"No Grandma, ""sausage fest"" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP"