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Joke of the Day

"""Ummm can you not?"" - white girl getting tortured"

"makeup beauty Omg = oh my girl so cute next morning without makeup Omg = ohh My God omg/omg = life without wife"

"What does SAG-AFTRA call a low-budget foreign production? Scrub-a-dub-dub."

"how many How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I'd tell you, but you probably wouldn't understand anyways."

"I should sell this house, the rooms spin when I drink vodka."

"Why couldn't the lizard be aroused? He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)"

"What did one orphan say to the other? ~~""Robin, get in the batmobile.""~~ ""Our parents are dead."""

"Legos are a lot like boobs. They're meant for kids, but Dad always ends up playing with them"

"Why do androids go to Africa to party? Because Botswana have fun."

"The French are such nice people. (would have been funnier a few decades ago) Do you know why all of the streets in France are lined with trees? The Germans like marching in the shade."