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Joke of the Day
"This afternoon I just relaxed on the couch and masturbated. The psychiatrist took a lot of notes."
Next Joke
"I brush my teeth a lot longer when I'm around another person."
"So I was driving home from work tonight, I saw a woman texting whilst driving. It infuriated me so much I threw my beer bottle at her car."
"Yo momma so fat... Her first name is Chow Yun."
"Carbs are my starch enemy."
"When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls? ...When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good."
"By DAY he's just a regular accountant. But at NIGHT he becomes a trash ravaging raccoon... ""Raccountant"".. Coming this fall on Fox"
"Waitress: what will it be? Me: I'll have the rum cake but with the rum on the side W: so u want a glass of rum & a cupcake? M: yes please"
"What do STDs and jokes have in common? They're both easily spread."
"I always wanted to know what it felt like to blow $85k So today I stood in front of Annex Hall and asked the first art major I saw."