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Joke of the Day

"All I want in this world is some one I can turn to and yell, ""Avenge Me!!"" if I'm dying or wrongly accused of a crime. Oh and rocket shoes"

"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"

"I could've been a boxer, like my father. He could've been one too Source: Simon Munnery"

"Women who get kidnapped while jogging: you're not jogging fast enough"

"Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists"

"I think my wife is overdoing her lent observance. She won't even toss my salad."

"What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup? Erdogone"

"Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving? The Redskins"

"There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny."

"I'm at my most brilliant when the door says ""pull"" and I don't believe it."