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Joke of the Day

"During an inspection of the federal penitentiary, I saw a bald inmate beat up a warden. I guess the warden was hit by a Smooth Criminal."

"What's grey and comes in buckets? An elephant!"

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You'll see it when you're pooping"

"How do you keep a fool in suspense... I'll tell you tomorrow."

"An American spy on Russia has just leaked confidential information regarding their government [deleted]"

"What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive? A rip-off."

"I can never decide whether to slam on my breaks or go through a yellow light, so I do an annoying combination."

"The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part."

"What do you call a Mexican that loses a car? Carlos."