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Joke of the Day
"I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute."
Next Joke
"What do you call an interracial dwarf actor? A half cast"
"Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook."
"I met a guy named Richard... I said, ""Can I call you Ritchie or are you gonna be a Dick about it?"""
"How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin? By looking over your shoulder."
"What Metallica song does Captain America hate? Trapped Under Ice."
"Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip."
"What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room"
"The opposite of aging gracefully is aging nancygracefully, where you literally morph into a horrible human being."
"I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side."