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Joke of the Day

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend."

"Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job? What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?"

"What's long, black and doesn't work? The unemployment line."

"A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off. He is now a registered sex offender."

"Hey baby, do you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."

"I can't get out of bed These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust."

"Stop bragging about your 10,000 lakes, Minnesota. You don't hear Iowa going on and on about its 12,000 smells."

"Sitting next to my wife today, I said ""I love you"", She replied ""Is that you or the beer talking?"" I answered ""It's me... Talking to the beer"""

"what is kurt cobain's eye color Blue. One blue to left, one blue to the right."

"Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend."