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Joke of the Day

"Judging by the way some women wear makeup it's rather obvious they didn't excel at coloring as a kid."

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"What do Eskimos and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal!"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 the headphone jack"
"I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down"
"What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo? An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal."
"A guy goes to his doctor. The doctor says to him, ""You need to stop masturbating"". The patient says ""What? Why?"". The doctor replies ""So I can examine you"""
"A button on my car broke... Its a pressing matter."
"*knock knock* ""Who's there?"" *knock knock ""I said, 'Who's there?'"" *knock knock ""......Hello?"" ......*doorknob jiggles ""The fuck?!"""
"Another Santa-Banta Joke During sex ,Santa suddenly stops & remains motionless.... Wife: What the hell are you doing? Santa: I have seen this on youtube... Its called BUFFERING"
"I've recently started eating steel It's a refined taste"