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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a jacket, and he'll be warm for a week. Teach a man to jacket, and he'll stay inside for months."

"Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!"

"Instead of a sign that says ""Do not disturb"" I need one that says ""Already disturbed"""

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only cums once a year"

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? With a pencil..."

"How do cows multiply? With cowculators!"

"If you notice This notice, then you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing."

"A group of crows plan a meet up... it was a premeditated murder."

"I always enjoy a book while sunbathing... As a result, I'm well-red."

"I made a fortune selling HIV testing kits to Africa In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with ""Yes"" written on the side of them."