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Joke of the Day

"How long did Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion have to wait for the Tin Man? Ten minutes."

"Me and my flat-chested wife went to see a marriage counselor. The counselor said, ""What seems to be the problem?"" ""Well"", I said%"

"Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*"

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."

"*4YO and I slo-mo run towards each other* 4: I didn't pee the bed daddy! Me: Me neither! *big hug* It was a big night for both of us."

"Why did sexual frustration impede the development of mathematics in Ancient Greece? Because mathematicians in Ancient Greece couldn't get no irrational fraction . . ."

"If a red man lives in a red house, a blue man lives in a blue house..... a green man lives in a green house. Then who lives in the white house? A black man"

"I'm currently in a very serious relationship ,we don't even smile ."

"Did you hear about the condom that flew across the bedroom? It was PISSED OFF!"

"Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets? They take the senor discount."