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Joke of the Day

"How long did Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion have to wait for the Tin Man? Ten minutes."

"As a European, I was always troubled by 2 Girls 1 Cup. Just how much is that in grams?"

"I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward."

"How many pallbearers are needed at an Indian funeral? 2, it only takes two people to carry a trash-can."

"My boyfriend and I got couples tattoos today!!!! PLEASE do not tell my husband"

"Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that..."

"You hear about the highly-productive pastry factory that has trouble retaining employees? It has a high turnover rate."

"I got kicked out of the army yesterday. They called it a dishonorable discharge.... ....i call it jizzing over the generals face whilst he was asleep."

"Batman Begins Twerking #AddaWordRuinaMovie"

"I planned on watching the super bowl tomorrow, but... My inflatable couch doesn't have enough air in it."