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Joke of the Day

"Me and my flat-chested wife went to see a marriage counselor. The counselor said, ""What seems to be the problem?"" ""Well"", I said%"

"There are 10 types of people in the world - those who know binary and those who other people talk to in the bar :-)"

"A friend made a list of questions for his mom to answer about childhood flashbacks She threw them out"

"Did you know If Olivia Newton John married John Travolta, her name would be Olivia Newton John Travolta."

"Have you guys heard about the drastic effects of erosion on the Great Pyramids? Yeah, they're kinda pointless now."

"I asked a sexy chinese girl for her number, she replied sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight... I said wow, I must be in luck, until her friend grabbed me and said, she means 6663629"

"Does anyone know if ISIS is hiring? I heard they offer new hires a company cell phone and/or car."

"Imagine trying to explain Captain America: Civil War to Abraham Lincoln."

"What is the difference between complete and finished? If you find the right woman, you're complete."

"Snuck a peak at my therapist's notepad after telling her about my childhood, and it was just dollar signs."