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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo"
Next Joke
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"(First date) Me: Don't let her know you're a satanist Her: So what do you do for fun? Me: WHATEVER THE DARK LORD COMMANDS"
"Two guys meet at a bar. ""My wife ran off with my best friend Peter..."" ""Oh no, when did this happen?"" ""Yesterday."" ""And since when is Peter your best friend?"" ""Yesterday!"""
"""Sorry, I lost the name of that person you just met 5 mins ago. But check this out, I found the complete lyrics to Paul Revere!"" - my brain"
"How do you pay for incense? In cents"
"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"
"What comes after a 69?"
"My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell ""OMG! I'm on my way now!"" & tell them my brother had a bad car accident."
"When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just ""Morning,"" don't be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ ""Noon."" Seriously, what did ya expect?"