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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Polish man think his wife was plotting to murder him? He found a bottle of polish remover on her dresser"

"A girl walks to his boyfriend and says.... I have some good news and some bad news, and I'm gonna tell you both at the same time. Amongst all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

"The people of Pompeii... Mannequin challenge champions since 79AD"

"Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour."

"Did i tell you that someone hit me over the head with a power tool the other day? Minding my own business, then next minute BOSCH."

"What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients? A vegetarian."

"Yesterday I held a door open for a clown... I thought it was a nice jester."

"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? It wasn't born yesterday."

"lol no thanks my tires rotate themselves every day"