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Joke of the Day

"Why can a nose not be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"

"What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday? I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents"

"What did Delaware? A New Jersey"

"These Alt-Right people should Ctrl+Alt-Right+Delete themselves from American society, Am I right?!"

"Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride."

"Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment? He had some time to kill."

"What do you do with a Jew with ADHD? Put him in a concentration camp."

"Necrophilia So my parents recently forced me to go to a psychiatrist for my necrophiliac thoughts. Having sex with a dead girl was just a nail in the coffin."

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"

"I have a sore throat, a sinus headache, a paper cut, and I miss my kitties. No one has suffered as much as I have on a Friday."