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Joke of the Day

"Q: What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? A: Disney spells."

"What's the difference between between a piano, tuna, and glue? You can tuna piano, but you cant piano tuna!"

"How do you clear out an Afghani bingo game..? Call B52!!"

"What's a businessman's favourite dessert? Profiteroles!"

"I want to piss on the guy that stole my tweet, changed it slightly and submitted as his own on FunTweets and then set him on fire."

"""You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..."" *cop gets all up in suspect's face* ""Targeted. Banner. Ads."""

"[first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up"

"How many dead hookers does it take to fill up a garage I know it isn't 37"

"I have a photographic memory But I ran out of film a long time ago"

"My mom said if I don't stop using reddit she will bang my head on keyboard But I know she will never do that because she loves medssxcvnklkjfsaarfscnnlknvdgjjbcfggukkfrhhvvvrrjbzddsazvbdwjjhguoiufde"