150431
Joke of the Day
"What do you give a girl that has everything? Penicillin"
Next Joke
"It's amazing how quickly reheated food in the microwave goes cold again when you think you're only going to be on the computer for a moment."
"I'm always frank with my sexual partners I don't really want them knowing my real name."
"Songs with lyrics like, ""We don't need sleep,"" why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?"
"HONEST JOE'S DISCOUNT BREAST IMPLANT EMPORIUM. WHY PAY $6,000 FOR SILICON WHEN YOU CAN PAY $20 FOR WOOD"
"I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at."
"Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too,,,,just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!"
"I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail."
"Two muffins are sitting in a oven... One muffin says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"""
"What do you do if you're lost in an Icelandic forest? Stand up!"