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Joke of the Day

"If you lost my trust, don't expect that sh*t back."

"Why your fingers have spaces in between? nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!"

"Blackjack is a lot like my love life. I always hit on 16"

"Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now."

"What do men and hardwood flooring have in common? Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!"

"A fox snuck into the chicken coup last night and killed them all... Authorities were unsure whether to label it a coup d'etat or a henocide..."

"My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays. We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions."

"I really, really need to stop eating clocks It is very time consuming"

"""""Dammit I'm Mad"" is spelled the same way backwards. Think about it."""

"60% of all secretaries can type... The other 40% are huntn' peckers."