150155
Joke of the Day
"I love when I open my dryer door and money falls out instead of my cat."
Next Joke
"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"
"Q: Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? A: She wanted to be a nurse."
"What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most? Harrelson's woodie."
"Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter"
"Hillary Clinton could be become our first F president. I'd say female, but she lost the email."
"My wife asked me for a double-entendre.... .....so I gave her one."
"What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears? A mouse going on vacation."
"9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole ""i don't give a shit anymore"" pizzas"
"I asked a Jewish girl for her number.. ..do she rolled up her sleeve."