150029

Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician... A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three. He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof* ...he disappeared without a tres."

Next Joke
 
"I had to quit my job as a refurbished dildo salesman due to the recent influx of gay customers. Things have been pretty shitty lately."
"TIL Socrates' last words. ""I drank WHAT?!"""
"I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live."
"My x-girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh It was amazing! If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean!!!"
"Me: I want a hot body. Me: Does absolutely nothing to achieve this."
"Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse."
"Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it."
"You made an imprint on my heart like a big butt on a memory foam mattress."
"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy."