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Joke of the Day

"What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted? Hey we have a toot in common."

"If Apple releases a car... will it have Windows?"

"Where did the universe attend college? At the university."

"If one more person asks me to do a summersault.... .......I swear I'm going to flip!!!"

"Me: I am sad, we don't have any cookie crumble for my ice cream. Wife: lots of things make me sad, like being married to a giant man baby"

"Oral sex makes your whole day.. ..Anal sex makes your hole weak.."

"Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller? Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!"

"how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway"

"Question: If a King runs a Kingdom...& an Emperor runs an Empire... Who runs a country?"

"Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys."