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Joke of the Day
"how to get Rich Stab the motherfucker."
Next Joke
"How does a bassist's brain cell die? Alone."
"*watches man fall off of bridge on TV.. ""Bartender, can you get me that drunk?"""
"Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"
"Do one thing that scares you every day. Maybe do four things. Live in constant fear."
"I said I was mad at myself. My 4yo son looked at me. ""There are fancier words for mad,"" he said, fixing my hair. ""You should say irritated."""
"Today in linear algebra we were ranking matrices I said the first was the best then the second and the third was the worst"
"Trying to talk to a girl without staring at her boobs is like trying to poop without peeing."
"What do women and dog shit have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."
"Thought up this joke the other day What's the difference between a deaf dog and a one night stand? The one never comes when he's called and the other never calls after he comes."