149205

Joke of the Day

"b-52's songs: -'love shack' -'hate shed' -'sad tent' -'happy igloo' -'frustrated RV' -'depression garage' -'melancholy lake house'"

"costumed new york mayor Rumor has it that for Halloween New York Mayor DeBlasio will be walking around on his knees and going as Mayor Bloomberg"

"Why don't blind people like skydiving? It scares the crap out of the dog."

"Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated."

"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."

"I'm like Harvard. Hard to get into, but once you're in, everyone is super impressed."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables."

"I've just received my 14th Christmas card from the Alzheimer's Society."

"My husband wants me to stop working on my flamingo impression. I had to put my foot down."

"Found the cause of the Fort McMurray fires.. My mix tape just dropped"