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Joke of the Day

"""are you drunk?"" - everyone's response when i send a nice text"

"What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach."

"What's the difference between an apple and a hormone? You can't hear an apple"

"Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope. "

"How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems? The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper."

"Most Republicans are still voting for Trump. Can I be banned for this, since it's actually not a joke?"

"What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer."

"My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!"

"What is DJ Khaled's Favorite Number? 11 because it has another one"

"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"