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Joke of the Day

"How does a dark-skinned boy have light-skinned hands? ...because paint! -my four-year-old daughter."

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"The best part of having a prostitute die on you is the second hour is free!"

"Yo' mama is so fat, when she walked by the TV I missed 3 episodes."

"What do you feed a feminist at a cookout? Trick question. Nobody invites feminists to a cookout."

"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

"What does a crow call his penis? His CAWk."

"Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said ""Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!"""

"I have a talent for only attracting people I have no interest in dating."

"One time dad asked what my five-year plan was, and I said ""death or becoming a pirate king"" and he threw my cat Alan at me"