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Joke of the Day

"Why can lesbians leave town faster than gay men? A lesbian can just lickitey-split, a gay man has to pack his shit first."

"What is Jay-Z's favorite type of seafood? That fish Cray."

"-THAR SHE BLOWS *she stops* Does he REALLY have to be in here? ""My seeing-eye pirate? Yes"" But this is so intima- ""Fill the balloons, Susan"""

"A three legged dog walked into a bar and said ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"Man Bun? or Douche Knot? neither, it's a fairy tail."

"How many feet are in a yard? 4 if you have a dog."

"Ugh, I may have lost my ""World's Best Dad"" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went."

"My electric toothbrush broke so now I have to use my acoustic one"

"I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating"