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Joke of the Day

"why did the pervert cross the road? because his dick was stuck in the chicken"

"sure the early bird may get the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"Interviewer to me: what is your weakness? I replied : Honesty. Interviewer : But Honesty is not a weakness that's a good thing. I replied: I do not give a fuck what you think."

"Why do so many /r/thedonald users work in movie theaters? Because they're great at projecting."

"My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted. Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer."

"This old dude from Europe is everywhere. The one that is making everybody cry."

"Yo mama's so fat Her nose can't even run Came up with this myself and was quite proud"

"You remember when you were a kid, you had tons of fun blowing bubbles in the bathtub? I saw Bubbles the other day, he told me to say ""Hi!""."

"What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind? Oh, the huge-manatee"

"My love comes with more terms and conditions than iTunes."