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Joke of the Day

"A cashier was serving a pregnant lady And enthusiastically asked ""Wow! Your child is so large already! Is it a boy or a girl?"" ""Yes"""

"What's the difference between a lobster with implants and an old, dirty bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and one's a crusty bus station."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent"

"Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub."

"Stressed Out A guy walked up to me and said 'I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!' and I said 'Relax man, you're two tents!"

"Even reddit goes down more often... than my girlfriend."

"What gets less rain than the Sahara Desert? The sun!"

"There are two types of people in this world. Those that need closure."

"Him: I hope you die a slow painful death Me: oh, no I'm not married"

"I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it."