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Joke of the Day

"""My grammar is terrible,"" I said untruthfully, as I lied on the bed."

"You ever been to the strip club on that ice planet? I heard it's pretty Hoth"

"I bought perforated paper once It was a total rip off"

"My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure."

"I just forked over $5,000 for a reincarnation seminar I figured what the hell you only live once."

"Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar."

"I finally found my wife's G-spot! Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?"

"Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash."

"In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin. Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen."

"Why did the Carpenters wife leave him? Because he was screwing around."