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Joke of the Day

"My mom was in a horrible car accident on her way to pick up lunch today. It's really bad guys, I need your prayers. I'm so hungry."

"Lebron's life is like one big compass... He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West."

"Shout out to all the Aussies over here! Want to hear a joke? :) Tony Abbott"

"that stage of not showering where you develop a sort of detached, clinical interest in how bad you smell & seeing how much worse it can get"

"What is smaller than an ant's dinner ? An ant's mouth !"

"I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me, then I didn't show... I hope she gets the message that we aren't working out."

"I got depressed last night so I called a self help hotline... I couldn't get through, the line was always busy."

"Q: What's the best way to make pants last? A: Make the jacket first."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my dad did not screaming in terror like the passengers in his cab."

"UPS, FedEx, and DHL trucks should play a jingle like ice cream trucks so we know when our packages are coming."