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Joke of the Day

"Ive recently been under the weather but now im in a stable conditon My rooms filthy and there is shit everywhere"

"I was in a taxi when the driver said.. I was in a taxi when the driver said""I love my job! I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!"". I said ""Great. Now take a left here!"""

"Whats the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? SNOWBALLS!!!!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Don't worry, he worked it out with a pencil."

"6 said he isn't sleeping in his room cause the tooth fairy sounds creepy but he left the tooth cuz he needs the money. -No DNA test needed"

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""

"I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed."

"How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant? When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked."

"My therapy group is a joke. The doctor is supposed to match you with people you have something in common with but everyone here is nuts."

"My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me."