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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when you have bad acne? When the blind try to read your face."

"Dear congress, please text and drive.#governmentshutdown"

"I didn't hold open a door for a woman and she said 'I suppose chivalry is dead' So I put my sword through her heart to prove that bitch wrong."

"Trump is the next president of the United States. Thanks Obama."

"You know how they say your smile is your strongest weapon? Tell that to my friend who stood still smiling when a thief asked him for all his money"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."

"Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye."

"I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad."

"why don't spiders go to school.. Because they learn everything on web. :( i know i suck at jokes."

"If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item."