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Joke of the Day

"The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*"

"Two astronauts in the ISS... One says to the other, ""What's up?"" The other replies, ""Yeah, what?"" I'm pretty sure this is OC, I haven't see it else where."

"What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off? NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!"

"GF told me she wanted to write her ""biography"" & I said ""autobiography"" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place."

"Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day."

"So much gross product placement in THE SHINING. It's like, fine, I'll buy an axe."

"Germans today are so lazy; It's been more than 70 years since they last invaded their neighbors"

"Judging from what most terrifies my cats, when the apocalypse comes it will be heralded by a great rustling of plastic grocery bags."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."

"If you build a triangle with sticks. Would it be, twigernometry?"