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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bad hair day for Donald Trump? A real toupee in the ass."

"I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!"

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"All mushrooms are edible... Some you can only eat once."

"A night-shift nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and says... ""Oh damn it, some asshole has my pen!"""

"How did Harry Potter go down the hill Walking.... JK Rowling"

"What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past? Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)"

"My kids are young, so when they listen to old school music they think its new. They are currently listening to a hot new band called Queen."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I don't know how they'd get in there."

"What do Jesus and your mom have in common? They both got nailed all night."