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Joke of the Day

"Adult films are lame. There's nothing about choosing insurance or retirement planning; it's all just a bunch of naked hugging."

"A man was eaten when he attempted to tell a joke directly to a crocodile's mouth. He didn't live to tell the tail."

"Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He wanted to test out his new air brakes."

"people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don't they have thoughts"

"I don't mind comic sans. It's honestly a very well rounded font."

"Me: Is that seat taken? You: You are pointing at my face... Me: I know."

"""Hey! I don't remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!""--George Lucas's wife re-watching their old wedding vids."

"People who say ""you can run but you can't hide"" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run."

"[music club] what should we play today [hand goes up] yes joe? ""banjo"" all those who wanna ban joe raise their hand [everyones hand goes up]"

"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him."