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Joke of the Day

"I went for a job interview today... The interviewer said to me, What would you say your greatest weakness is? I said, I think Id have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength."

"Why did the farmer feed his cows money? He wanted rich milk."

"What's the one phrase gays will be reluctant to say now? ""Shoot it in my mouth"""

"My goal weight is for it not to look like I'm having a stroke when I yawn."

"Vibrator factory workers probably check their phones every ten seconds."

"To the guy that called twice at 4am, here's your score: Used correct numbers (A+) Dialed numbers in correct order (F-)"

"Selfish Girls When I was a kid. Many girls want to kiss me I Allowed. But Now... I want To Kiss Many Girls but They Don't Allow me."

"I have that eating disorder where I threw up once cause I ate too much candy and now I nod knowingly when someone says they're bulimic."

"The only way I'd ever get to ""bang"" a hot chick, is if I run up to one and slam her head into a wall."

"Just killed a butterfly. Let's see how this changes all future events."