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Joke of the Day

"The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band"

"How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"[at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* ""STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"""

"The only thing I have to offer men is that I don't ask questions during a movie."

"How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?? One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn....."

"God promised men that good obedient wives would be found in all 4 corners of the world, then he made the world round. What a funny guy"

"The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO"

"If you arrive fashionably late in crocs... You're just late"

"5 DAYS AGO I was bit by a spider, and STILL, no super-powers. Comics lie."

"I heard dogs like to play with balls ...so I decided to get out the peanut butter"