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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet!"

"Just got back in the USA, I heard something about a party here? I don't know, there's a song about it and everything."

"Some people complain about it, but I don't really mind going into work every morning... It's the 8 hour wait to go home again that pisses me off."

"I couldn't figure out how my seatbelt worked. But then it clicked."

"starbucks is like a hooker... one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name"

"Free event: Datsun + Tooth & Nail Brewery + Mostly Danish For anyone that have been wanting to try food from Datsun and beers from Tooth & Nail craft brewers."

"My mom just put a pic on Facebook that says, ""Share if your daughter is beautiful AND smart."" She tagged my sister."

"Want to see 45 years of wrinkles disappear in less than one minute? nsfw Rub my penis."

"I've been really mad at my dad since he died... ...all he's done for the last 6 years is sit on his ash."

"Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters."