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Joke of the Day

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted!"

"Sieved flour to rule them all A pinch of salt to grind them Cup of milk, then mix them all add an egg to bind them -Lord of the Onion Rings"

"Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office.. I will track you down, you have my word."

"My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, ""You're fine."" Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist."

"TIL a man went in to have his right leg amputated but somehow they removed his left. After the mistake was corrected, he then sued but lost Judge said he didn't have a leg to stand on"

"My girl said she need distance and time Still dont know what she's trying to calculate the velocity of..."

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help?' I said No, six should be enough.'"

"I wish Benedict Cumberbatch played Q in 007 Then I could call him Benedict ""Q"" Cumberbatch."

"What kind of pizza would the twin towers order? Two plains."

"Here's one I been working on What does a book of stickers and your butt have in common? Scratch and sniff"