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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas."

"Asian gangs, also known as study groups.."

"Got super excited about a 200 meter butterfly till someone explained it to me."

"I phoned my boss. I said, ""I'm calling in sick tomorrow."" ""But, how do you know you're going to be ill?"" he asked. I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife? Oh, you don't know? I won't ask you to wipe my bum then."

"What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !"

"Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned? A. Because of their loco motives"

"I feel like I just won the lotto! Because I just paid the IRS a shit ton of tax."

"What's the opposite to Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"

"Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?"