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Joke of the Day
"I have a giant penis. I've kept it in a jar ever since the giant died."
Next Joke
"Does ""who cares"" count as advice?"
"The therapist told my wife and I not to go to bed angry... we haven't slept in 36 years."
"Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!"
"What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field."
"[cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]"
"What's the best cure to a bad hangover? A good personality"
"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""
"It's a sin to love another's wife and a punishment to love yours."
"Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote? They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting."