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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What did the farmer say when he got caught watching porn? Amishamed of myself."

"Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860."

"Have you seen the movie ""Constipation""? That's because it hasn't come out."

"When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers."

"A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off. ""I told her I was 90""."

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots."

"Donations Son: ""Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."" Father: ""Okay, give him a glass of water."""

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"

"[Drug Deal] How do I know ur not a cop? ""If I was a cop would I do this?"" *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is"

"When people say things like ""You can't change the past"" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind."