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Joke of the Day
"Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook."
Next Joke
"What do you call a tired tumblrina? A nap-kin."
"I think my friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid He says he can stop anytime he wants"
"""I'm constantly quoting myself. Like right now, for instance."" I just said that."
"god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock"
"I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing."
"What do you do with a dead chemist? You Barium."
"What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking? Michael"
"what's the best part about electing Hillary Clinton? Being able to pay her 33% less"
"Nobody in America dies as a virgin... because our government fucks us all."