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Joke of the Day

"god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock"

"Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years."

"Do you like your new baby sister? She's all right. Do you play with her? No and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days."

"I decided to email Ted Kaczynski yesterday Edit : wow, my inbox blew up"

"Causes of childhood anxiety: 4% Bullying 9% Inability to puncture a Capri Sun pouch 87% Musical Chairs"

"What is the best way to watch the ""Saw"" films? In bits and pieces."

"You dig ,I dig, she dig, he dig, we dig, they dig. It's not a great poem but it's very deep."

"""OH NO PYTHON whew just my nose. OH NO COBRA nope still my nose. OH NO RATTLESNAKE shit, nose. God I can't live like this."" -Elephant"

"Kim Jong Un recently banned the blues scale... He hates Seoul music"

"Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colour? It had a reptile dysfunction."