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Joke of the Day
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Next Joke
"What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients? This is neither the thyme nor the plaice."
"Two robots walk into a bar... [...and are immediately banned from the establishment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3sxirv/a_man_walks_into_a_bar_and_orders_a_rum_and_coke/cx1bzxf)"
"Girlfriends are like phone apps They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well."
"If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time. ""I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"""
"I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down"
"A man walked into a bar and a Midget walked into a Bollard"
"Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass"
"I'm sick of all these jokes about mexicans and blacks... Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal!"
"What did King Midas say to get peoples attention? Eh you!!"