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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cat on a big plate? a platterpuss"
Next Joke
"Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships"
"Silly Boy Boy: where are you going now? Girl: For suicide.. Boy: Then, why so much make-up? Girl: You idiot.... Tomorrow my photo will come in Newspaper..!!"
"My cats are named Ra and Isis. In ancient Egypt, they would have been gods."
"Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan."
"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"
"Starbucks and Hooters should merge. Can you imagine ordering a Double D Latte? Everything you need in a cup or two."
"Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw"
"If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling."
"Excuse me, but do you need the Jaws of Life? Because damn girl, you're crushin' it"