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Joke of the Day
"What's the most consumed beverage by Syrians? Saltwater."
Next Joke
"Valentine man I knew him, you see, This certain young man, And that is why I saw him and ran. In the plan of the ages This tragedy is That I should be An acquaintance of his."
"I can't stand pedophiles. They're fucking immature assholes."
"I kill people for a living with my jokes! HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU"
"Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?"
"Snail 1: Are you male or female? Snail 2: Yes Snail 1: Me too! [they kiss passionately]"
"My kids tell me I drink too much. It's funny they don't make the connection."
"I'm no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT."
"Found a $50 bill in the laundromat the other day.. I looked to the washer and dryers for clues, but they all told me to Bounce."
"Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness? Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell."