145375

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!"

"My wife is always trying to pick a fight by making fun of my impotence. Well she won't get a rise out of me."

"Why do clairvoyants have crystal balls? So they can see what's coming."

"What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little."

"I wanted to make a joke about Sodium, but Na."

"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."

"What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest? One goes limp when a child walks in the room."

"All last night I dreamed I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted"

"Did you know that Christmas will fall on star wars day this year!? Guess whos coming to town?"

"I relate to your inability to relate to people. Let's talk about hanging out but never follow through."